I'm tired of all this stress and desperation I have. Every single minute of every single day, from the moment I wake up I am fed up with this disgusting life that is mine. My face ruins it. I'm in my 20's and I don't even have a job. Never had one in my entire disgusting life. I've wasted most of my life. My ugliness is truly crippling me and I'm goddamn sick of it!! All of my damn life I wanted to be pretty. Being ugly bothers to the point that I can't take it, it's unbearable. My face is so fucking messed up, there's literally NOTHING good about it. Always hiding my face and being uncomfortable. I am sick and tired of being ugly. I am always depressed and I can't go on any longer. I'm on thin ice right now. This isn't living anymore. I am basically dead, the only difference is that I still exist, just breathing....locked away in the bedroom hiding from the world until a plastic surgeon rescues me. I fucking failed hard... Physical beauty means everything to me and it is unfortunate that I wasn't blessed with looks. I don't have the money for the plastic surgery...my smother doesn't want to help...I'm fucking pissed at that bitch. She doesn't care if I stay ugly forever. That bitch should have gotten an abortion because I am suffering in this horrible life of mine. I only live to suffer. Abortion would have prevented all this suffering before it even started. I wish I never existed..I absolutely wish that I was never born and I'm fucking pissed because I exist. My existence is the root of my anger. I wasn't born with a pretty face and too bad I also wasn't born in a wealthy family where I would have easy access to get plastic surgery. This is what having a hideous face does to you....it destroys your life especially if you don't have the money for plastic surgery. I am an example of what should have been aborted.